Update: February 18, 2007: The Ache of a Father's Heart
For the most part, today has been relatively uneventful. We are still living in a small hotel room waiting for an apartment to open up, we're still learning which Kazakh food to eat and which Kazakh food to avoid at all costs, and it's still freezing outside! Day 4 in the baby house with our son was pretty normal. We're hoping to send pictures soon.

As we adjust to the new normalcy of twice a day visits with our son, we must admit that our hearts are heavy. The times with our son are exciting and full of joy. Whether it's the belly-laughing, the uni-tooth smile, or the quiet moments just holding him in our arms, those two hours fly by so quickly. And then the high in the baby house immediately becomes a low as someone comes to take him away until next time. We kind of sit there and look at each other. For the last seven plus years, we've sat and looked at each other and everything has been fine! Sure... there's been a longing for someone else to be in our family, but God has given us grace and peace to wait on His timing.

But now we're here. Now we've seen the child He has sovereignly chosen for us. Now we've gazed into his eyes. Now we've rubbed noses with him. Now we've kissed his puffy cheeks... and they keep taking him away. Our family just seems incomplete without this little guy, and so for that moment when he's left the room, our hearts just feel empty. It's an ache that longs for more--more time to play, more time to laugh, more time to sing and clap, and more time simply to hold him close. It's a desire to protect him and provide for him, and a desire for him to see US as the ones he can trust with his every need. It's the kind of love we have been waiting to give, and the hope we hold on to each day is that soon--very soon--we will be able to pour it out on this little life called [name withheld].

Amidst the ache of those moments packing our things in the baby house and leaving until the next day, God is teaching us much. He's teaching us about a Father's love that longs for His children's time, affection, and trust. He's giving us a glimpse of His longing to meet our every need, to protect and provide for us in a way that no one or nothing in this world ever could. And we're learning to love Him, to be alone with Him, and to trust Him with a childlike faith. Oh God, that we might fall into Your arms with total submission, gaze into Your eyes with total adoration, and enjoy the song of grace and mercy that You sing over us. All glory be to the Father whose heart aches for His children...

We love you and miss you!
--David and Heather

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