Sex and the Single Christian WomanBH Women Contributor
Today's post was written by Christina Ward who is a Small Group Leader at Brook Hills.
Sex, sex, sex! It’s everywhere. Everywhere you turn, you’re bombarded with images of forbidden sexual encounters, subtle (and not so subtle) sexual innuendos, and erotic sexual fantasies. From movies to books and even to sermons, we’re overwhelmed with talk of sex and thoughts of sex.
Movies say it’s okay to have sex with anyone your heart desires. Books say it’s okay to try anything. (And based on that popular book that is now a popular movie – you know the one I’m talking about – nothing is taboo or forbidden, not even whips or blindfolds). The church says abstinence is the only way to survive this single Christian life. My friends say it’s okay to have sex, as long as I repent and ask for forgiveness after…or is it before?
So how do I, a single Christian woman, remain virtuous in a world where having sex and lots of it is seen as okay or even expected? A world where the words “virgin” and “celibacy” are taboo?
It’s not easy.
I know what you’re thinking, “But you’re a Christian. This shouldn’t be that hard. Don’t you go to church? Don’t you read the Bible?”
Yes, I’m a Christian, and yes, I read my Bible. But I’m also a single woman, and I have the same lusts and desires as any other woman. And although I do not act on those sexual thoughts, I do still have them.
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve read Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 6:18, 19-20, “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexual immoral person sins against his own body…You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God with your body.”
These words have been a source of comfort for me many times. But they’ve also triggered feelings of guilt and inadequacy. Guilt when I can’t live up to those words and inadequacy because I’ve failed so many times, even in my thoughts. Even Matthew made sure to point out that lustful intent is still committing adultery in my heart (Matt. 5:27-30).
But I rest in the knowledge that God is forgiving, and He is faithful. So, I keep repeating that Bible verse. And if I fail, I’m reminded of Paul’s words in Romans 7, I know that nothing good is in me. I have the desire to do what’s right, but I don’t have the ability to do it on my own.
Wretched woman that I am! Who will deliver me? Thank God that I’m saved and made righteous through Jesus Christ.
Unfortunately, we don’t live in a Christian bubble. We live in a world where sex sells.
We can’t get away from it.
But we can find comfort in the knowledge that through every temptation – every erotic book, every sexual innuendo, every sexually based film, and every suggestive commercial – God is there. For He promised that He would never leave us or forsake us (Heb. 13:5).
So, I wake up every morning thanking God that I have another day and another chance to walk this path of a single Christian woman and that He will give me the strength I need to do it.
For more on the subject of singleness and sex, check out Sex & the Single Christian Girl by Marian Jordan Ellis and check out her podcast "Single for a Season or Single for a Reason" from when she spoke at Brook Hills' Young Singles Conference in 2013.